Deck lessons #5 - Steps

If possible, change the orientation of the boards to give a visual reminder of the change in level.

Danse Rust

I want to be a wizard to my children, fixing broken toys and conjuring furniture from trees

which is why I have a workshop, and my wife's grandfather's workbench,

which is why my bench is six inches deep in shavings, bits, pieces, and tools

which is why I cannot throw away the cracked birdhouse my uncle gave my wife

why I take things apart before dragging them to the curb, keeping what works

 (or might someday again)

why that log is sitting in the corner

why I am the last one awake tonight,

digging through sawdust and the smell of old oil

for some Rumplestilskin part that I need but can't name.

Deck Lessons #4 - Magic gloves

When you've got a few thousand screws to drive, speed helps.  I definitely recommend wearing work gloves of some kind, because splinters suck, and pressure treated wood probably isn't something you want to spend many, many hours handling with bare hands. I mean, it's probably fine, but just wear work gloves, okay?

But picking up screws with work gloves on takes a lot of practice.  So I took a shortcut.  I glued a small magnet to the back middle finger of each glove.  I chose the middle finger so that I could grab it with thumb and forefinger of the same hand to get it into position for driving.

Deck Lessons #3 - Spacing Balusters

Building code and safety for kids both dictate that your railing and stair balusters be no more than four inches apart. Aesthetics dictate that they be spaced evenly. There are a ton of different methods for achieving this goal.  This was mine:

I downloaded an iPhone app called Handrail Builder. It cost $1.99, but saved me many hours of head scratching.  Put in the span you're looking to cover and the width of your balusters, and the app will give you the spacing. Cut a spacer out of scrap materials, write the width on it (in case you need one of that size for a later stretch of railing), and cut a handle in the middle so you can hold the spacer and ad the baluster with one hand while you drive screws with the other.

I also suggest starting from either side of the railing, then working toward the middle. If you're off even a little in cutting your spacer block, the error will compound until it's definitely noticeable.  You can correct that by playing around with the spacing of the last couple of balusters, and it's a lot harder to see the results of your tweaking if it's in the middle of a run, rather than all at one end.

Deck Lessons #2 - Buy a corded oscillating tool, use it properly

I have a Bosch oscillating tool that I like a lot, but it's cordless, and only runs for about 8 minutes before you need to change batteries.  I ended up picking up a cheap Harbor Freight corded model out of frustration, because I was using it for all kinds of detail work around the site.

They are one of the safest kinds of saws to use, but you need to be careful about repetitive stress injury (RSI).  If you have carpal tunnel, the vibration of the saw can cause a flare up.  There is also hand-arm vibration syndrome (HAVS) also known as 'vibration white finger'.  A long day of using the oscillating tool generally meant a long night of feeling like my hands were asleep.  Stretches helped, but the real key was learning how to hold the saw: loosely.  Let the weight of the tool do the work, and keep a very loose grip so that the vibration is only slightly transmitted to your hands and arms.

Deck Lessons #1 - Capture the Railing Posts

I've been thinking that I ought to write an article about building the deck this past summer.

Heh. Yeah, that's not going to happen. So here's #1 in what will probably be a series.

My railing posts are notched at the bottom and mounted on the outside of the rim joists, and the decking is notched around it. For longer runs, there's still a bit more flex in the railing than I'd like.  If I had it to do over, I'd mount the posts on the inside of the joists so they were captured all the way around with the decking. 

The downside would be that it'd be even more of a hassle cutting the holes in the decking.

How are my tin words
more eloquent than one tree
swaying in the sky?

The visual culture of Hunger Games is certainly striking. It's as if the capitol city has kept all the bright colors to itself, and left the provinces nothing but beige and gray.

What struck me the most, however, was that I walked out of the movie into a theater building strewn wildly with garish colors, with posters and screens all around promoting movies I haven't heard of, starring people I barely recognize, while the radio blares music I don't recognize by unfamiliar bands.

All it's taken is a couple of years as a parent of small children, and I'm experiencing the pop culture of my own country as if it were science fiction.

On introducing my daughter to woodworking

I want to show her
the wood planed smooth. Her hands are
drawn to the shavings.

Now I know how Jonathan Kent felt

This is what my 1 year old did to a wall at school.

I'm OK. I really am. We all are.

But at odd moments, I get this flash of sudden darkness, the jarring sense of being thrown forward then back, the acrid smell of smoke, and everyone in my family screaming at once. My wife screaming for her kids over and over, and the kids just plain screaming.

Two weeks ago, we were on our way out to dinner. About a second after we stopped at a red light, a driver hit us from behind.  Based on what our car looked like after, I'd guess she was going about 40 mph.  There was no screeching of brakes, nor were there skid marks on the road behind us.  We're still waiting on a copy of the police report for more detail on what she might have been doing that led her to slam into a column of cars on a busy road at 5 pm on a Saturday.

That moment, all I knew was that the car was filled with smoke, and I had to get the kids out.  My door wouldn't open at first.  I threw my shoulder into it, and it still didn't budge. It turned out to be locked. Unlocked it and got out onto the shoulder. Went for the back door, couldn't get it open. Realized it was locked, too. Unlocked it, and got my daughter out.  She's almost four, and was completely hysterical. I give her a quick extremities check. No visible injuries, seems to just be scared.  She says she's not hurt. I set her firmly on the shoulder as far from the car as I can while keeping her in view, and tell her to stay there. I see Christie coming out the passenger door. She looks unhurt, but scared as hell.

I run around to the driver's side rear door. Locked. Shit. Should have thought of that.  Back around to the passenger side, crawl across my daughter's seat to get to my son. He's one, and is still in a rear-facing car seat. I get him unbuckled, and am cradling him close to my body when I realize that the car has started moving slowly forward.  Holding him firmly with my left hand, I lunge between the seats to put the car in Park. It won't go all the way, but it does go into Neutral, and stops rolling. That'll do.

I climb out onto the shoulder, and my daughter is crying for me to pick her up. I have my 1-year-old in my left arm, and my 4-year-old in my right, standing close enough to Christie for us to put her arms around us.  The four of us stand there, trying to make sense of what the hell just happened.

More soon.

A Taxonomy of Fears

Done to or done by?
Will she be well, will he be kind?
What sort of damage will they inflict on those they love
and on the world?

Acts of man, acts of god.
Is there a spark in the wall,
waiting for a finger or a flammable scrap
or a vapor that shouldn't be there waiting for a spark?
And the two come together like the opposite of a lottery ticket
and the house goes up in a woof like god's great dane warning off a prowler,
and that's it.

Diseases and other disasters natural, financial, and emotional.
Was that a cough? Is that rash chronic, or acute?
What slight signs of future calamity am I missing?
The wind is picking up.
I should have trimmed that tree in the front yard.
My boss. Arthritis. Malaise.
Was the kid who coughed on our groceries unvaccinated?
Are the squirrels back in the attic?
What am I missing?
Fold and pocket them carefully and listen
to the still house breathing in the dark.