Friday, August 01, 2003

Her: Yeah, Mike got to see me do the spider dance last night.

Cousin One: So what happened?

Her: It was totally justified! I pulled the covers off the bed, and this big brown spider jumped out!

Me: Jumping back was justified. Screaming was justified even, maybe. Plucking at my shirt while I was trying to find it was not.

Her: I was trying to find it!

Me: That's okay. Now I can tell you the rest of the story. When I found it, it had jumped back into the corner. Your shoe wouldn't fit, which is why I went in with my pocket knife. My first shot took a couple of legs off, at which point another spider jumped out from behind the baseboard and attacked it. I figured the conflict was basically intramural, so I waited till the second spider killed the first, then I went after the second with the shoe. Then I got up, said "It's dead", then got ready for bed. I figured it was better to wait to tell you until morning.

Her: I wouldn't have slept a wink!

Me: Which is why I didn't tell you.

Her: You know, I almost believe you...

Me: Whatever gets you through the night.

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