Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Every once in a while, this blog things pops up in the real world. For instance, a while back, I met a guy through Theron, and before I could even say "Nice to meet you", he said, "Hey, I read your web site! You're a hell of a writer." Being the clever wordsmith that I am, I think I might have said, "Um, uh, duh, well, uh, thanks."

On the flip side, sometimes the real world pops up in blogs. For instance, there's Aritae. She sent me an email a while back asking if I minded her linking to me, and being a whore, I said no. Especially because she threw on some praise as gravy. She used her school email, which led me to her real name, which led me to her department, which let me know that she almost certainly knew Carrie, at least peripherally. I was curious how she felt about that, but you never know how people will react to being Googlestalked, so I didn't ask her about it. Besides, it wasn't really any of my business.

Anyway, she just blogged on the topic, and I've gotta admit it's weird to read. For one thing, I remember how I felt/feel about the bloggers (and other writers) who've influenced me, and it's weird to think that as I'm walking blindly through Target on a Saturday morning, in a ratty t-shirt, hair wild and eyes bleary, that somebody might be behind me going "I think that's Mike Terry!" Sure, I'd totally do that to Bill Trogdon, but then again I'm no Bill Trodgon. At least, not yet. Maybe someday, if I'm lucky (and do some damn typing).

For another, I flashed on a moment about 18 months ago, when a friend told me that his ex-girlfriend absolutely hated me. With real fury. I'd only met her once, and while I was certainly full of shit that night (and beer, not coincidentally), I didn't think I'd given her reason to hate me. Turned out she was friends with Carrie, and had somehow decided that being friends with Carrie meant hating me, even though I thought it likely that Carrie hadn't shared any of the mundane and not at all gruesome details of our divorce with her.

In the end, it was remembering something Carrie used to say that taught me what to do about it: "It's none of my business what other people think of me." Let's face it, you can't change other people's opinions of you by anything you say. Only actions do the trick, and that takes time, if it works at all. Today's lesson is the flip side: It's none of my business what other people think of her, either. She didn't do anything in the course of our splitting up that I'd call worthy of holding a grudge, but if other people want to be upset with her, that's between her and them.

And it is kinda sweet, really.

Update: Her post contains a minor factual error, in that my regular Tuesday Buffy date was Christie, not Carrie. Confusion probably came from my 'artful' use of the pronoun "her" to refer to whatever woman I was talking about, whether acquaintance, ex-wife, or girlfriend. Mostly I did this to maintain some small semblance of anonymity for folks who needed or wanted it for one reason or another.

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