Monday, October 06, 2003

It's been too long postless, but I've got a project to work on, so this may well end up one of those posts telling you about other, better posts that are coming sometime down the line.

1. I've been working on the office, which is now called "the library" because it's for reading, not working. Coffeeshops are for working, as is the basement. As a result, almost all of my books are in one spot for the first time in years. Previously, all too many of them lived in the basement.

In the process of building the library, I've often gotten a little picture in my head of something I want, haven't been able to find it, and therefore had to built it. For the most part, they've turned out well. I think maybe tonight I'll go around and take pictures of some of these things, just for grins. So expect a braggy picture post sometime soon.

2. Turning what was my ex-wife's office into what is now my library has created the first entirely Carrie-free room in the house, and I like it very much. Next step is the bedroom, which is already mostly Carrie-free, thanks to the bed I built. But she left some old clothes and shoes behind, to the tune of one closet and a drawer or so. After the bedroom comes the living room, which is arranged in much the same way as when she lived her, and includes a hutch which, frankly, neither of us much liked. This process, known as "despousing", is not about getting rid of Carrie, who has, after all, not lived her in over two years. It is about getting rid of ghosts, who make lousy roommates, as they never put things away in the right place, but if you say anything, they get all huffy and stop emptying the dishwasher.

3. The despousing is a highly rewarding process, as I was emotionally rootbound. But it does occasionally bring up emotional crap I'd rather stayed buried. There's also been some stress at work. Nothing job-threatening, just a conflict of personalities. The woman I'm butting heads with somehow manages to piss me off in a way nobody else can, or has for years. All in all, it drives home the sense I've had for years now that we are, to steal a phrase from an old friend, "Cro-magnon with car keys." Certainly we have a mind capable of rational thought, but we end up using it mostly to rationalize what we've already decided we want to do, based on more emotion that reason.

These days, there's a wolf inside me (well, two wolves), and sometimes he snaps when there's no need. But when that happens, I mostly keep my mouth shut, and nobody hears the things I don't say. Then, when I get the chance, I slink off to my cave to get my brood on, or out to the front porch to howl at the moon.

It's not ideal, but it's interesting.

4. One of these days I'm going to write a poem around the line, "I was 25 before I could forgive my mother for loving me" but it's not going to be today.

5. The Rundown is badly written (They Live bad, not Attack of the Clones bad.), and Seann William Scott's character is so annoying that I was rooting for him to catch a stray bullet or get humped to death by monkeys. But the Rock is fun to watch, the action was, for the most part, well choreographed, and there are certainly worse ways to spend a Sunday afternoon.

There's more, I'm sure, but like I said, I'm on deadline, and this is about as much procrastination as I can afford. So it's back to work.

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