Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Mark Bittman's been one of my food gurus for years, so I did a little happy dance when Salon chose him as one of four taste-testers for low carb, prepackaged foods. The whole thing's worth a read, but if you don't subscribe and can't take the ad, here are the best Bittman quotes:

"I like the noodles. They're not noodles, but there's something I like about them."

"I like the second sauce. What is that called? [Grabs jar.] 'Meat flavor'? Why is it called meat 'flavor'?"

"You know, if you put these flavors on it, it actually masks the sawdust."

"[Turns to reporter.] Please note that she would eat them for $50, but not for $25."

"I think it's one of the least horrible things so far."

"They need another base. I wonder if they've actually tried sawdust."

"I wonder if years from now when we all die they'll figure out we were all in this room together once. I can see the headlines: 'Deaths all over the country from a previously unknown form of cancer. Doctors have only been able to discover that they were once in the same room together.' [Chews contemplatively on a snickerdoodle.] That shit is nasty! There's butter and cream, and it's still bad!"

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