Thursday, February 10, 2005

Scenes from a Marriage
Scene One: Waking up to the sound of a cat puking on the floor? Not funny.

Realizing that said cat is doing it from the nightstand, meaning that there's going to be some serious splatter effect? Even less funny.

Having your wife scream and jump (from a prone position, no less) into your arms because she was having a Shakespearean nightmare and the splatter made her think Henry IV was beheading people next to our bed? Now that's funny.

Scene Two: Picking up a foot-high stack of Shakespeare from human resources (ah, the benefits of working for an textbook wholesaler!) and explaining them with, "The wife's on a Shakespeare kick". I get serious warm fuzzies offing being married to a woman who says, "Why don't we own more Shakespeare?"

Scene Three: Three mornings ago, her first words to me upon waking from what must have been a very interesting dream were "If we ever decide to become gun owners, we need to remember to keep the viewmaster cassettes separate from the gun clips. You don't want to confuse those two."

Um, okay.

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