I just got back from the eye doctor. We had a nice long talk about Harry Potter. His big worry is that he's got guests coming in this weekend, so he won't be able to read. He's particularly afraid he'll overhear someone in the waiting room talking about it.
Me: Just put a sign up in the waiting room: "Harry Potter spoilers will be severely punished!"
Him: No: Dilated! With the really nasty, long-lasting stuff!
Me: That ought to do the trick.
Him: I probably couldn't get away with that, though. Too bad.