Guy outside the library: Sign a petition to get an independent party on the ballot?
Me: Oh, yeah, I heard about that one. Sorry, I'd rather cut my own arm off than do anything to help Ralph Nader screw up this country again.
Him: Well, I'd rather cut off both arms and a leg than vote for either McCain or Obama. I'm scared, man!
Which just goes to prove how totally impractical those Green party types are. How's he going to cut his leg off with no arms?