Thursday, June 23, 2011

Computer Love

I'm a big fan of Buzz Out Loud from CNet, and here's the text of a letter I sent them recently for their Computer Love segment:

Ten years ago I was freshly divorced and looking for love. Based on my experience, this is my guide to finding geek love:
1. Get Real. I had a couple of internet dates, and while my wife and I met in real life, we did most of our early flirtation via email. The problem with that is that I did a very plausible online impression of someone with his life in gear, but in real life I was much more messed up. Also, my conversational style has been compared unfavorably to drinking from a firehose. You really have to meet me in person to realize how annoying this can be. But I found someone who kind of likes it.
2. Hope for Failure. If you are listening to this show, then you are a geek. And the percentage of the general population who will intentionally date a geek is probably in the low teens. Add to that your own criteria (weight, height, hair color, Star Trek vs. Star Wars, has a job, bathes) and your pool starts shrinking. This is not a bug, it's a feature. A bad date or a rejected pickup is not a disaster, it's just another iteration in your own personal sorting algorithm. 
3. Define Success. I knew I was in love because my happiness had become contingent on hers, and when I was with her, I was a better version of myself than when I wasn't. Of course, I'm kind of an idiot, so it took me a long time after falling in love to even realize that it had happened. I almost drew charts, but even I recognized that would be a bit much. Instead, I proposed. Ineptly. But she said yes anyway. 
We've been married 5 years.  We have a 4 month old who just outgrew his first Star Wars onesie and a three year old who starts most of her sentences with "Well actually..." Love is good.
Love the show,
Mike the Grammar Geek
Molly, one of the hosts, said that "just another iteration in your own personal sorting algorithm" was "gloriously geeky", which I'm thinking of putting on a t-shirt.

Update: Speaking of dating geekily...